5:25 — SLIDE RULE MARVIN ELEMENTARY 4TH GRADE  SDUSD Marvin Elementary Allied Gardens. All gifted class. Mrs. Hayes taught us slide rule, and speed reading before Evelyn Woods. 1959. When we finished our work, she let us study college chemistry and design space stations. Education use to be really great. All funded by National Science Foundation, Stanford University, and Yale.

DINNER BREAK?

7:39 — THE PUSH FOR THE MOON. It began way before Kennedy declared it a goal. Being part of the Class of ‘68, we came on the scene right after the moon landing. We were educational guinea pigs. They tested everything out on us. We piloted the “New Math.” And exactly what was the new math? Bases. Can you calculate in a variety of different numerical bases. And why? So you can code in binary. It was a national push for early computer literacy. And it failed on the average student which it wasn’t meant for. That’s why the new math failed. And of course there’s the grandfather of the new math, Richard Feynman of CalTech’s physics department who told the California Legislature that it was too difficult for the average student. Thus, the new math died. But, we didn’t. The proudest thing I ever did in high school was not the 1968 CIF county swim championship, it was when Mr. Wright, the physics teacher, both scared the crap out of me only to make me shine before my peers. It was a nationally normed physics test on physics concepts. No math. He gave out all the As, Bs, Cs, Ds, and Fs. And never called my name. And then he turned to me. He said I had scored the highest score in the entire school, even higher than the advanced physics class with Calculus. No math. I to this very day see the physics in my head.

7:58 — THE DAY WE JUMPED THE STATION WAGON OFF THE GROUND AT LUNCH. Ha! So this guy Benny Mestreda? had his station wagon in auto shop. Rick Pohlenz and Benny were team mates on the wrestling team. So Rick says Benny wants to go jump the station wagon. I’m game. It lunch! I don’t know what the name of the street is but every Crawford driver knew it. It starts at like around the top of 56th St. and dives twice. So we stop at the top and accelerate down the first hill, hit the flat too fast, and literally launch this Chevy station wagon completely off the ground. Ha! We hit so hard that we had to drive back to the auto shop lot in second gear. All the other gears were screwed up. Ha!

8:30 — MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION. Ha! Another story of ill repute. So Francis Jerome Dickinson told us we could get four hours off from school if we’d go to these political gatherings at the Community Concourse. Just get your last four classes to sign off on this outing. So we did! Ha! And we went straight home to get our surfboards and went to the beach for three hours. Ha! We’d come back for swim workout at 3:30. This is the year we won CIF. We did this four times and FJD would ask us every time how the lectures were and we would straight face him knowing he knew we were lying about what we were doing! Ha! He knew and didn’t care! Oh! 1968 was a very good year. And I have more to tell.

8:38 — WHEN MRS BARR KICKED US OUT OF STUDY HALL. Bill Keller (Buddhist monk), Gary Benoit, and I got kicked out of Mrs. Barr’s study hall, she took us bright young minds who were goofing off and causing disruptions and made us classroom aides. Not kidding. We ran errands, did office work, and ran off curriculum to help Barr and Dickinson get things done. At the end of the Spring semester Jerry asked us what we wanted as a reward for our dependable work. Beer and pizza! And he delivered. One large six piece pizza and a six pack of beer in their offices on campus. Yeah, I know! Highly illegal. Ha! But it did happen.

8:55 — DAVE DORMAN CHEWS SANDY BUBBLE GUM. I was there. Dave Dorman of Dorman’s Tires, was challenged one day at lunch to chew a sandy wad of bubble gum for a minute for five bucks. Dave did it as disgusting as that sounds. Gambling at Crawford was a big thing especially within the golf team. They use to play blackjack for cash at lunch almost everyday. Am I talking out of school? Yes I am. When I think of the stories, I’m gonna tell you them. There’s lots.

8:59 — THE APPLE CONTEST AT LUNCH. I could down an apple in seconds. So people would challenge me. The real test came the day they brought me a Washington Delicious and gave my challenger a Julian Gravenstein. My challenger laughed so hard watching me slobber down this huge Washington that I still beat him.

9:12 — GETTING SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE. Mary Barr had me on an assignment to spread some sort of news to the English department. And I was sent out to spread this news. So I walk up a hallway to the quad against all school rules during a lunch period of which there were three. First period lunch. I’m cruising up a hallway and some dumb fucker college kid tells me I can’t walk up that hallway, being closed for lunch. I tell the dumb sob that he has his head up his ass. I’m on an assignment from a teacher. He claims I owe him my ID card. I throw it in his face and walk on. Asshole!   They called me in the next day and let me off. Not really a word.

9:19 — WHICH ROCK BAND IS MOST CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH CRAWFORD AND ST AUGUSTINE. The Eagles. Look it up! I know what I’m talking about.

9:42 — SEMINAR ENGLISH LIT & POLI SCI. Two hour class of the best and brightest of our 3,200 student class. About 100 students. Mary Barr was the best English teacher of her day, bar none. She wouldn’t put up with your shit and she let you know it in no uncertain terms. You couldn’t bullshit Mary. Her message to us was never say what you believe. Prove it or just shut the fuck up. And Francis Jerome Dickinson was a retired Marine Drill sergeant. He didn’t put up with bullshit either. So we told the truth.

9:54 — THE ULTIMATE SPITWAD. Ha! 1966 geometry. We had Bucky. But, Bucky was replaced with some guy on his way to retirement. Can’t remember his name. Anyway, at the door to most math classes there were bins of scratch paper. So I got me three. Ha! I chewed all three up to make the ultimate spitwad. Hilarious! I hit the classroom clock with a perfect strike so no one could read it. Ha!  Ask me! Ha! I have no reason to decline the true stories.

9:58 — ORDERING PIZZA AND BEER BY THE CASE. Sorento’s Pizza on El Cajon Blvd. All the delivery orders were with seniors from Crawford. They’d deliver Jesus to the devil. Ha! Cash Lewis!

10:02 — THE SOPHOMORE PROM THING. We set the dance up and then ordered three pizzas from Venice Pizza and a case of Bud quarts to the baseball field at Crawford. And … and they delivered. Hilarious times!

10:09 — MIKE STAMM AND THE ’72 OLYMPICS. Two silvers and one gold. My teammate in 1968. He blew me out at backstroke. He lost to the East German twice in 72. But, got a gold in the relay with Spitz. There’s so much Crawford out there.

10:18 — HULLABALOO AND SHINDIG. Street signs and high school rock bands. Did you watch? Not likely. Paul Revere and Raiders featuring that Lindsey fellow. We started stealing street signs and selling them to late 60s garage bands. All too true. It’s based on a 9/16 socket wrench. Ha! Only too true.

10:26 — PHIL RIOS KILLS AT THE ’68 TALENT SHOW. Phil played a Hendix style solo with no back up. Neither you nor I could do it. Phil did.

10:38 PM — HOW I TRIED TO GET OUT OF GATE. It’s a thing. I was unsatisfied with my 10th grade curriculum. Straight up. So I programmed myself out of the gifted cluster. In 11th grade I programmed myself out of GATE. And I literally goofed off during my junior year. It was really great. My biggest breakthrough in 11th grade English was making 100 paper airplanes in 55 minutes. Hilarious crap. And then they caught me! This too is hilarious stuff. I was programmed against my will into physics and seminar English Lit and Political Science. You can run, but you can not hide. They know who you are. Ha!

BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!!

March 14th

MR BILLINGS. Rumor has it that he would take out his fake eye and polish it to gross out misbehaving classes. True or myth? I had him for Adv. bio. It was mostly biochemistry. It killed my medical career. Ha! One great memory from that class was Barry and his trained worms science fair project. Barry trained these flat worms to come to the light. Then he bisected them, let them reproduce their missing halves and tested them to see if they remembered their light training. Surprisingly they did.

March 24th

Driving force. From the time I was eight all I wanted to do was surf. It drove my life in every way until I quit at 45. Sitting in 6 ft surf with a knee brace, bad shoulders, crushed 5th lumbar disk, and a one way neck, I decided that it was quit or die out there. Everything I did. I taught school for 35 years because of the time off. All surfing. Swim team? Surf workout.

March 25th

SDUSD - Fulton, Johnson, Oak Park, and Wegeforth. Opened computer lab at Johnson, ran one at Oak Park, helped open one at Wegeforth. Taught 6th for eleven years, 3-4 gifted 7 years, finished off with 12-15 years 3rd with another 7 years teaching gifted in that stint. And like I said, time off to surf was the goal. Elementary school gets out at between 3 and 3:30. Straight to the beach as many days as I could. And the vacations. Some people need other kinds of success. I surfed for 31 years straight. And I find that the best kind of success.